Indemnity

 Indemnity

The clouds from my window-seat look like a scene from a fantasy, while the harsh sunlight reminds me of my reality – cold and unfair.
Seated next to me, is federal police officer Sam Lathigo (Juvenile crime)!

I have no remorse what-so-ever for my dangerous act! First, if truth be told, the whole experience has been relieving!

My name is Jordan.
Jordan A Sisilleigh…….. Yeah… hard to pronounce!
The weird surname is because of my mixed and mysterious ancestry! My great grandfather was from an unknown place near Turkey, and my great grandmother was from somewhere near North China! Just like their place of birth, their reason to end up in Australia is also unknown.
But I think they met after being displaced during a war.
In my family, I have my dad, uncle Toni, and my dead grandmother.
The most interesting fact about me is – I am half Indian!
I am interested in this competition because I want to create a game for people who are uncomfortable with their reality.

My casual choice of words on the application form for the Under-15 International American Coding Nonsense clearly showed my disinterest in submitting this application. My Coding Teacher- Mr. Henzki, had forced me to do so. He hung over my head the whole time until he could read the notification ‘Your application has been successfully submitted’.

All this was not happening for the first time. Every third week, I was put into some sort of creative-smug, simply because teachers at this school have no life of their own!

And precisely for such useless reasons, once again, I forgot that dad was awaiting me at the front gate of the school.

As soon as I got into dad’s old noisy car, he exploded in anger “why the hell do you have a phone on you when you don’t even answer it.”

I slammed the car door and yelled back even louder, “It’s not my fault. Phones are not allowed in the classrooms.”

“Don’t sh** me, your school had gotten over an hour ago. You got me late for my job again!” Dad rebuked.

I was furious, but couldn’t say a word.

I kept looking out of the window. On the next turn, after the Green Reserve, enraged, I opened my door and jumped off the moving car.

The concrete pushed into my chest. I heard something breaking; probably a bone rolled uncontrollably down on the grass into the Reserve. I finally stopped against a lamp post. It was scary, but because it was my own silly decision, I simply got up, dusted myself off, and started walking home.

No one could be seen around; neither was Dad’s car!

Once I got home, I found a grocery list note on the kitchen table, and I know it was meant for me. “I am not a bloody servant in this house.” I chucked the paper straight into the bin and went to my room.

The previous month, I successfully hacked some idiotic websites, which soared my confidence, so as a result, I aimed higher today. But no success so far.
Frustrated, I pulled out grandma’s letter that she had left for me when she died; I was five then.

My dear Jordan,

I am so blessed to have you as my grandson. I wish I could live a little longer………..………………….
Your mother was a beautiful young woman when I first met her. She could make anyone fall for her wit and intelligence! She came to Australia to visit her uncle’s family in Sydney, and destiny made her meet your dad through a common friend. And YOU happened.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Her family never approved of her decision. She eventually had to surrender to her family’s pressure and move on.
It was one of the most challenging situations I had faced in my life. Her family had their honour at stake, and she had her whole life in front of her. I had no choice but to step up and assure her of the love and care I would give you and never let you feel her absence!

But destiny had its plans.

You deserve all the happiness in this world.

Love
Granny

I had overheard uncle Toni talk, suggesting my mom belonged to an educated Brahmin family of Southern India. She was offered a fellowship at the Royal Research Centre in London while still studying her undergrad degree in India. For her distinct achievement, she was allowed a holiday in Australia.
Here, she met my dad at a beach party. They hung around together for a while.

With these thoughts in my aching body, I caught snooze in no time. Later, at night, I was disrupted by dad’s heavy voice in my room.
“I thought you died after jumping off my car.” Dad taunted.

I was sleepy and couldn’t understand what he meant. I sat down and chose to look out of the window into the dark.

“Next time.. try jumping off a car when it’s running a little faster……!”
“Jump offs cliff… to get some legit bruise. I used to get better bruise playing footy.” He teased.

I didn’t talk to dad or laugh at his jokes. I kept staring out of the window, irritated; he was out of my room in no time.

I regretted the choices I made that day because my anger completely took over my ability to think!

The next day, my pain was better, and I went to school as usual.

Near the end of the day, Ms. Brown, our drama teacher, asked me to see her in the school theatre for repeatedly missing rehearsals. Our crew was to perform at The Graduation Ceremony.

In her typical ‘Victorian-era tone,’ Ms. Brown demanded.
“May I know what made you think, skipping rehearsals at this point would be accepted?”

“I don’t identify with my role, Ms. Brown.”

“And who are you, my dear? What do you know of yourself?”

“That I don’t know yet, but what I do know is- no medieval courtier would let go of a cheating partner.”
“I think he was a coward,” I added precisely with a confident tone.

She listened carefully, then went into her office at the end of the stairs and brought out a stack of books along with a file full of loose notes to hand over to me.

Absolute Love and The art of killing were the top two books from the stack!

Despite all Ms. Brown’s support and my extensive research to understand my character in the drama, I couldn’t participate because the final performance date fell in the Coding-Nonsense week!

For the next couple of weeks, my life kept going the same way! Dad and I continued to dislike each other. My friends stayed busy, impressing girls, and I kept digging deeper into the web to find answers to questions that had been hurting me ever since I remember.
‘What makes a mother leave her son and never back?

One day, my name was announced along with five other kids for making it to the School Coding Team. I was informed to prepare to fly to America in a week.

I didn’t make any preparations, I just packed some of my stuff the night before my flight, and I was ready to leave!
I didn’t tell dad anything yet.

Hours before flying, when I exited the front door of my house to leave for the airport, I saw dad sitting in his noisy car waiting for me.

He was dropping me off to the airport!

I texted Braydon for the change in drop off-plan, then walked to the car, threw my bags in the back seat, and sat next to him in the front.

On our way to the airport, which was about a 70-minute drive, I put songs by Chainsmokers. Dad gave me a stingy look. I ignored.

Dad handed me some American currency notes and a paper at the airport drop off. I quickly popped it into my bag before disappearing in the check-in line!

It was a long and tedious flight to Los Angeles. We got off at around 4 pm at the local time. Our Lodge was an hour drive, and the competition venue was on our way. OR3O, the young software company in Nevada, had organised this event.

The next four days flew in a snap. The first two days were spent in the intense training provided by the professionals at OR3O. And the next two days were consumed by the actual competition of creating an online game that would be launched by OREO as their own.

Friday night, after the competition, the crew was celebrating and busy deciding how they would spend the next day. I chose to check my money first and then pick accordingly. As I pulled out some notes form my bag, I spotted the paper dad gave me.

I curiously unfolded it to read.

158 C Malibu Road,
Malibu CA 90265, USA
Your mother’s address!

I sat down and reread every letter.

1 5 8 C M a l i b u R o a d,
M a l i b u C A 9 0 2 6 5, U S A

Y o u r m o t h e r’s a d d r e s s.

For a moment, my brain didn’t register any thoughts, I took my phone out and searched the address.

…. 2-hour drive from here…….

My head couldn’t process anything in the shock. I tried keeping calm, but restlessness overpowered!

In the morning, I got up, get ready, went to the neighbouring shop to buy some flowers, then caught a cab to 158C Malibu Road, CA.

It was a long ride, but my uneasiness made it the longest ride of my life.

Soon the cab entered a beautiful lake area- green, quiet and wide open; and the
The cab finally stopped outside 158C Malibu Road, CA.

158 C was written in bold. I stood facing the double story house with a large front garden. It looked like a modern European house with a flat roof and huge windows. But what caught my eyes was the brass Ganesh with a marigold garland on the Porch’s right. I joined my palms towards ‘Ganesh’ like any Indian boy would do.

Over the past five years, I had researched every little thing about India, Ganesh statue connecting another dot today!

On the left was the intercom system, which prompted me to enter the visitor’s name and appointment time. I entered my name and date & time of birth. It worked!

After a while, a lady, who was not my mother, opened the door and asked me to come in. I followed her to the lounge on the right and seated facing the windows with bright yellow see-through silk curtains.
The mild aroma of freshly cooked rice was spread all over the house, but it failed to bring my appetite back.

It was a while; no one came.
“Hello, Akshar……, ..what a….. pleasant surprize..” a nervous but warm sound made me turn around. It was my mother standing next to me.

She was what I imagined her to be! Warm, graceful, and kind. Her vibes were strong and different.

I was stunned and just stood like stone.
But she was visibly shocked even after she took a long time before coming to the room. She smiled and looked around to calm her emotions.

After a long pause from both of us, she asked, “How are you?”

“I wasn’t informed about your arrival, Akshar!” she explained.

“I came with my school group for a competition… a coding.. ..game …at OR3O….. in Nevada.. so……” I explained formally.

“So, Did you win the competition?” She smiled.

“Yes.. actually we did… our team won the title for the ‘out of the box thinkers”.

She talked as if she knew me. Like my birth mother would. She is my mother.

She was still smiling politely then asked, probably to make me comfortable!

“What are your plans after you graduate from school?”

Right then, came a little boy running into the room and got embarrassed about finding me, a stranger there! He quickly turned to his mother to complain of his older sister, in his baby voice.

In the mother-son conversation, all I could understand was
“Grandpa”………………… “Astronaut”…..and
“Music Lesson”…….

The little one ran back in, shouting, “Don’t tell grandpa.”

My draining confusion was once more interrupted by my mother’s question.

“How is your grandma? She asked with a bright smile on her face.”

“Grandma died when I was 5,” I told her in a casual tone, thinking she would know about it.

She took a pause but didn’t say anything.

Meantime, I noticed mum was ready to leave for somewhere, in her bright, colourful Indian attire.

The attendant lady came and asked if I needed juice or lunch. I politely refused, saying I had to go back to the Lodge in time, or Mr. Henski will be angry.

“Let me drop you off to the main door,” mother offered.

I got up and followed her to the Porch.

We did not say much on our way to the road.

My cab arrived.

She looked indifferent and said, “take care.”

I nodded and sat in the car before disappearing from her sight.

On my ride back to the Lodge, something hit me.
“Is that it!” “Is that all I deserve in 14 years!”

My anger took over my being. My long wait, my love, her complete and happy life without me, everything turned into a poisonous anger!

My questions were still unanswered.
Why did she never visit me?
Why did she never talk to me?
Did she even love me?
Because I was a mistake, I deserved to be abandoned?

I was regretting for visiting her.

Luckily there was no one at the Lodge when I came back. I locked myself into the room. I couldn’t cry. I was breathing heavily; the rage inside me was exploding my head. It was causing immense pain!

It was time I decide I am not going to take pain alone! People who have caused it will have to share it!

The next morning I found myself on a mission. I sneaked out of my room without making any noise. I made my way to the kitchen through the hall, went straight to the ‘entry restricted’ inner kitchen, and stuffed my mouth with whatever food I could find.

As I turned around to leave, I picked up the sharpest knife before I left!

I again booked a cab for 158C Malibu Road, CA.

Unfortunately, there was no one at the house. I returned to the Lodge, and we left for the airport! I still carried the knife with me.

We reached the airport, checked in successfully, and rested in the waiting area before boarding. I suddenly noticed there was a policeman in his uniform, who was suspiciously looking at me. I ignored.

After boarding the plane, my teacher, Mr. Henski, came to my seat and handed over a letter.

Dear Akshar,
The pain of separation never got better in the last 14 years! I had the impression that the love of your beautiful grandma and father would fill me perfectly.
Your father didnt tell me about your grandma’s demise because he wanted to save me from going back to the same situation I put myself into 14 years ago.

It was destined for you to have only one parent, because your father and I were not in love, by leaving you to your grandma I tried giving you both!

I am seated on seat 73B in your flight.
I hope you won’t mind joining me for the next few days on my second Australian holiday with my son!

Your mother

I felt an enormous relief!

I wanted to go to mum straightaway, but the officer sitting next to me is not letting me! He’s suspicious of me right from the moment he saw me handing over the kitchen knife to the airline crew at the check-in! The same kitchen knife that I picked up to cut the annoying strings in my jumper!